I've been on a limited diet for ten years. Food is boring. For most of 2020 and 2021, I ate nothing but my own cooking and lost fourteen pounds. I lost interest in food, so I wandered off to write while I was cooking and used the smoke detector as a kitchen timer. Lately, I've learned to save money by forgetting to put food in the pan.
My friends on Facebook were aware of my lack of cooking skills. When I shared a memory of a recipe for two versions of baked spaghetti squash using different spices and ingredients, a friend surprised me when she asked for the recipe.
- Wash squash.
- Hack squash into two pieces. Avoid bloodshed if possible.
- Wash blood off squash.
- Preheat oven to 300-350 [degrees] F.
- Wash blood off oven dials and door.
- Put on bandages.
- Pour EVOO into baking dishes.
- Put squash belly up in baking dishes.
- Add spices etc. to taste.
- Put baking dishes in hot oven.
- Run cold water on burned hand.
- Shut oven door.
- Set timer for an arbitrary number of minutes.
- Clean kitchen.
- Check timer.
- Take a nap. Sleep through timer.
- Check squash after smoke detector screams.
- Replace batteries in smoke detector.
- Cut off burned parts of squash.
- Put squash back in the oven until done. Fork should pierce the skin. The squash's skin, not yours.
- Put on bandages.
- Take squash out of oven.
- Run other burned hand under cold water.
- Replace soggy bandages.
- Taste squash. Add more salt.
Sandy: Deb, instructions? LIke, a recipe? TF?
Stacy: (Facebook avatar) HA HA HA HA
Deb: Oh, it's going in the book.
Sandy: Ima get published (3 celebratory horns 3 hearts, 3 music emojis alternating with 3 laughing tears emojis)
Deb: It's perfect. Thank you :) maybe Michael can give us instructions on the blooded corn for a side.
Barbara: You forgot "add bacon and cheese to chopped, bloody squash" - it is especially good (the bacon and cheese part) on acorn squash
Sandy: I don't eat bacon or cheese
Barbara Ah. Then don't put those in.
Michael: there's blood on the driveway, blood on the snow,
and a salted raptor would be my bet
(Image of blood and bird impression in the snow)
Barbara: Did s/he eat the hand or the squash?
Deb: whoa. saving this in case it nees to be painted. thanks/you're welcome.